Would You Fight For Your Country or Your Survival?

I am an eighteen year old currently living in Reading, Massachusetts. It is the summer of 1861 and I currently employed by a dry goods store in Reading. Many of my friends are joining the army because of the attack on Ft. Sumner and all the patriotic songs pushing enlistment.  I debated joining to serve my country and fight for whats right but I am not going to join. The new technology and tactics have improved but the treatment of the wounded still isn't superb.

I heard recently about the new type of rifled musket and minié ball ammunition that are being used. The new muskets used minié balls that are designed to tear apart limbs of soldiers, and the musket has a new type of barrel that makes the bullet spin as it leaves the rifle making it significantly more accurate. This is a major improvement from the muskets with bayonets which were meant for close range since they had poor accuracy. Technology on land not only improved on land weapons but also with the naval weapons. The wooden boats have become obsolete because of the ironclads which where extremely powerful and durable. There have been many improvements in weapon technology so more people were injured. If a soldier got injured the common procedure would for that limb to be amputated if injury is serious but if its a minor break the soldier would receive a wooden splint. Once a soldier had a limb amputated there was often a chance that they wouldn't survive. I am frightened by how easily the new technology can kill people and don't want to interfere with something that doesn't favor my life. The tactics by the Confederate and Union had improved meaning that the side with better strategic plans will win. The new tactics are very smart and well thought out. For example the Union ordered a blockade on the southern ports which prevented the south to trade cotton and export supplies. I would not want to be in the Confederacy's position where you know that the North has the upper hand and you can't back out.

I would rather be with my family and living than fighting in the war. Although I would not be enlisting I would still show pride of my country and support the war. I made my decision because of the improvements of technology and the thought of losing my life in battle. Also war can really affect a person. Some people who have fought in wars come back traumatized and aren't the same after. These factors really helped my decision on not enlisting.

This photo shows what an average hospital during the civil war looked like. 

http://www.sonofthesouth.net/leefoundation/civil-war-medicine.htm